I was making copies at work the other day. I work in a very large facility full of all types of people. On this particular day, a woman came up to me and asked if I could hitch up my pants so she could further admire my shoes. So I obliged (and after that, I drove straight home and shaved my legs). She cooed over my shoes, telling me how much she loves them. These are nearly five inch stilettos, and this woman is about twice my age with wildly untamed red hair. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that these shoes and this woman do not go together. So I didn’t tell her where she could get a pair, which woman code says to do if someone asks about something you’re wearing. Instead, I told her they were out of season and the only way to find them now was on eBay. And based on her look, I thought only suggesting the internet was a good way to keep her away from shoes that might kill her.
When the men were putting together our pool table, Steve asked if they’d like anything to drink (I think he saw that on a sitcom. Many of his mannerisms and common phrases are learned from TV). The man said, “I’ll take a bourbon and coke.” Steve was caught off guard, but said, “OK, yeah man, I can do that.” The man said, “I’m just kidding, I can tell you like alcohol.” And although there is booze memorabilia on the walls in the basement, I still found it amusing that even complete strangers know exactly of Steve’s weakness. Lent never had a chance.
Swimsuits are out in stores again. It’s a rule: the second the snow melts, bring out the teeny bikinis. Maybe it’s to rub it into the faces of us not going on vacations how desperately we need one. I don’t know. But regardless, bikinis make me think not all clothes should come in every size. I’m not sizist by any means, you can be any shape or size you’d like and that’s fine with me, but I don’t think bikinis should come in a 3XL. I don’t think strapless dresses should come in a size a girl w/my bust could ever wear (think of all the wedding photos I would save if I had my way). I don’t think cartoon character T-shirts should come in any size after 4T.