I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now

As you know, my car has been running hot. That’s the technical term for the problem, I learned this morning at AutoMechanics. I wasn’t able to drive it this weekend: I drove Steve’s car and we planned on first thing this morning taking it to our trusty mechanic and figuring out what the hell is (or isn’t if we want the shorter list) wrong with it.

We looked at new cars online, preparing for the worst. Steve found an awesome new Mazda in our price range with all the bells and whistles. I hoped for the worst: for air conditioning and power locks and windows and cruise control and maybe even a sunroof. Visions of me driving a new car swirled around in my head.

Steve called me with the diagnosis: just needed a new water pump. A quick and easy fix. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. My car and I are together again. My visions of mirrors on my doors and both license plates attached were shattered. Reality sank in. I was disappointed that I couldn’t chalk up my car as a total loss and start over with a new car we can’t really afford.

Today we had the most interesting sky. Rays of light peeking through clouds of gray. This is not a cloud. There is nothing I have that I should not be grateful for. Yesterday I had a debilitating headache where I could do little other than read without the light on. I read two of my favorite poetry books. That was not a cloud. It’s easy to be discontent. Even when there’s no reason to be. The clouds always blow away. There is new light every morning.

There is pain enough to nourish us everywhere;
it is joy that is scarce.
– Erica Jong