the long game

I wish there was a machine that could accurately measure sadness, and display it in numbers that you could record. And it would be great if that machine could fit in the palm of your hand. I think of this every time I measure the air in my tires. ~"Men Without Women" by Haruki Murakami... Continue Reading →

these days

I have lived on my own for nine months, but these days are my first when I'm not in school. For nine months, I have taken care of my children during the weekdays, during half of the nights, and I have read and I've written. I've thought only sporadically about my future. In School allowed... Continue Reading →

frat nucleus

Two years ago, I conceived a fraternity with my friend while we were just a little shitfaced at my first residency. It was a kinship of writers who share writing processes, drinks, and laughs. Today, not only does it live on, but it is a nucleus of sorts. The program seemed to swirl around us.... Continue Reading →

cheerios ground into the carpet

I'm going to write my own "Summertime Sadness" song and it's about a parent who longs for the school year back, for a few hours to herself again. It isn't natural to parent alone. It is a two-person job, maybe three, maybe eight. I don't parent alone, actually, because Steve parents them half of the... Continue Reading →

this process so sacred

It is coming to an end, my MFA. A week from Saturday, I will be finished. I wrote to my friend about our loss of this process so sacred, but with the gain of knowledge and motivation and friendship. I met her two years ago when we were new students. We met drinking vodka on... Continue Reading →

wanting to leave is enough

When people ask me for book recommendations, I never know what to say. Because although I read voraciously and have favorites, what we read is a matter of personal taste. It's the same reason that, as a waitress, I hesitate to recommend anything. I hate ribeyes, but my customers might like them. However, I'm reading... Continue Reading →

hauling shelves

Last night I went and picked up some bookshelves from a guy on Nextdoor. "Your profile says you used to live around here," he said. "I did," I said, "when I was married." Divorce is awkward and people don't know what to say about it so usually they just say, "I'm sorry" which is a... Continue Reading →

sitting in the sun

It was not any awakening of the large, not so much as that, only a stepping back from the petty. ~from "The Promise" by Jane Hirshfield I have been feeling myself again, which is to say productive and filled with purpose. I have been positive and happy, much more than I had been. I am... Continue Reading →

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