Bucket Filling

"Mom, you're filling my bucket," Brandon said, after I told him how smart he is, how proud I am to be his mother. "What does that mean?" I asked, knowing the answer but wanting to hear him say it. "Everybody has an invisible bucket," he began, "and when you compliment someone or do nice things... Continue Reading →

Leaking into Everyone Else

To become a mother is to die to oneself in some essential way. After I had children I was no longer an individual separate from other individuals. I leaked into everyone else. When I try to talk about mothering, about how it is a part of me but not all of me, I can't do... Continue Reading →

9 years a blogger

After nine years, I decided it was high time I updated my website. I considered hiring a designer to do it for me. But then, I would be constantly emailing and raising concerns, little nit-picky ones, so I decided, fuck it, I am an independent woman. I can do it myself. Of course, I always... Continue Reading →

treading water

It is the week of Mother's Day and you know what that means:liquor store runs piecing together puzzles at my dining room table to keep my hands busymaking plans with people, even though I'm an introvert and the noise of crowds and the pressure of conversation aggravates me because I'm afraid to be alone, afraid to curl... Continue Reading →

it would be easier if

Most misfits struggle against the story that's expected of them. You know, the cultural scripts of good citizenship that come at us in life: how to be a woman, how to be a man, how to be successful at jobs/relationships/life, how to be happy, how to love, how to marry, how to fit into society.... Continue Reading →

Q118 Songs

Dirty Harry - Grace Guys My Age - Hey Violet Bad Intentions - Niykee Heaton Mr. Sandman - SYML Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift Horns - Bryce Fox Bad Things - Jace Everett Your Heart Is As Black As Night - Melody Gardot Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye Wonderful... Continue Reading →

19 tips for dating a writer

don't read her journals. trust me. if she offers you some of her work to read, remember kindness. and don't assume the asshole character is you (although it very well could be). she might forget to eat. make her food. when she stays up late writing, kiss her head on your way upstairs, don't shame her about skipping sex.... Continue Reading →

We saw LA

I went to LA with my friends, the frat. We went because my mentor invited us to check out her press, understand how it works. Writers don't say no to an opportunity like that. We stayed in the El Sereno neighborhood, which is right by the train tracks.Maybe not the best part of town, but... Continue Reading →

compiling my thesis (sort of)

No one told me how hard it is to compile a thesis.It's like you get into grad school (hurray! 🎉) and then you do some work, and then it gets progressively harder and harder and then you quit your job to focus on school and spend so many of your waking minutes obsessing over getting... Continue Reading →

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