More connection, less pseudo connection

I can’t believe I’m blogging again but the internet, the way I see it, is cyclical. There has been a decade of social media getting progressively pervasive in my life and I’ve tired of most of it. Today I deactivated my Twitter account. Six, seven years ago I never would have believed I would have done so. Twitter was a place where I met a lot of my friends, including my last two partners. It used to be a place of great community for writers. I found so many people and their work as a result of it. But every time I’ve logged in since Elon Musk took over, I’ve become more and more disappointed.

It’s not just Twitter. I might have rabbit holed on Erika Kirk videos on Instagram for many nights, not falling asleep until three, four in the morning. What can I say, I love a train wreck, and I’m fascinated by cults and narcissists. But also, I’ve realized that social media the way I’ve learned to use it isn’t helping me as much as it’s distracting me. And I want to read and write books. Unless I become one of those people who writes a novel online (mad respect to those people, I’m just not one of them), I am just spinning.

Listen: I love the internet. I’ve loved technology and the increasing capabilities of it since I was a teenager. When I was thirteen, I made a bucket list of things I wanted to do before dying and I distinctly remember writing “surf the internet.” I loved going down to the family den and logging onto the internet with one of those CD roms from Safeway giving us 30 days of the dialup for free, courtesy of AOL. I loved chatting with strangers in chat rooms in college, I loved researching the shit out of people before everyone else also knew how to. I loved blogging from the days of LiveJournal. I made my first website in high school. Geocities, baby. I’ve loved the internet for twenty-five years. But I’m becoming leery.

So maybe I’ll just use it the way I used to. Where I’m not seeking validation from people but rather logging images and thoughts I want to access again. I want to use the internet for documenting, but I don’t want the internet to become my only hobby. So I’m trying this again. The old blog post, an early introduction of mine to a daily writing practice. I really do miss writing.

Here’s what I like to do: I like to read books and write all sorts of things and take pictures. I like to go on hikes and eat good food and make music with my boyfriend. I like to pet my cat while I watch true crime. I like to drive highways for hours at a time. I like to talk to interesting people. That’s what I want to spend my time on. Sometimes I’ll be online. But most of the time, I hope I’m not.

I have a dream of being reachable only by landline. I have realized lately that thanks to two factor authentication and the convenience of maps apps, I don’t know if it’s possible to ditch my cell phone for good. But the thought is always there. Maybe one day I’ll take pictures on my camera again instead of my cell phone. Maybe one day I won’t text anymore but rather make phone calls while twirling the cord. I miss connection. With nature, with art, with people irl. That is my goal for 2026. More connection, less pseudo connection.

That and mold removal. More on that later.