self-fulfilling prophecies

While I was driving, I heard a new song called Issues. (Sample lyrics: 'Cause I got issues, but you got 'em too/So give 'em all to me and I'll give mine to you). It reminded me of something I think of often: self-fulfilling prophecies.Parenting is such a giant responsibility because we are setting these people... Continue Reading →

golden age

It's finally here. IT! IT! That time everyone has told me will come is here! The time they soothe you with promises of when you're in the throes of  raising a baby and a toddler. When you're covered in spit up and sleep deprived and screaming and crying is rattling around in your brain, even... Continue Reading →

pain and cookies

When I dropped Brandon off at preschool, he clung to my leg, tears in his eyes like it was his first day again. He loves preschool and always says, "bye mom!" with something like enthusiasm. But today was different."Sit here, next to Ryan," I said. But then a redheaded boy sat next to Brandon's friend... Continue Reading →

gerunds

That time of motherhood is almost behind me when the ear is not one's own but must always be racked and listening for the child cry, the child call. ~from "I Stand Here Ironing" by Tillie OlsenI know this sounds terrible, but it's honest: I'm looking forward to what comes next: the part of parenting... Continue Reading →

don’ts

Don't have children if you are overly anxious. Don't have children if blood makes you squeamish. Don't have children if you can't stand screaming and shrieking. Don't have children if you like to go out to eat at restaurants. Don't have children if you like to read uninterrupted. Don't have children if you enjoy alone... Continue Reading →

pocket baseball

Most of the time, I am alone with the kids. At home, this is doable. There is no public shaming or expectations of my parenting. I don't have to worry about being too tough or lenient for watching eyes. The kids are caged in so I don't have to worry about them escaping or being... Continue Reading →

tips for raising two boys

Raising kids is no joke. It's fucking brutal. Raising two rambunctious boys is doing me in. One is extremely emotional, the other is extremely violent. Neither of them sleep much. You know that phrase, "I have one nerve left and you're on it"? That's how I've felt for four years and four months. Now, I... Continue Reading →

swish swish

I watched them in their swings, Holden in the bucket one Brandon used to sit in, Brandon in the bigger one. I watched each time they passed each other: swish, swish. I was watching them grow older, second by second. If childhood was a play-by-play, so much of it would be mundane, monotonous.It is exciting... Continue Reading →

fighting the hoard

Today, in the last day of my garage sale, I realized how people become hoarders. I had everything marked down 50%, and I found myself bringing some of it in. I was OK to part with it yesterday, when I was going to make at least a bit of money on it. But now that... Continue Reading →

baby hair

I think it is the baby hair that gets me the most.When they are born, it is oh so fine. It is small and delicate, just like the baby himself. Parents spend hours bathing their baby and lathering tearless shampoo into that hair. Then we brush it, either into a mohawk or a combover and... Continue Reading →

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