I rejoined the working class today. Perhaps the worst part of starting a new job is all of the hand-shaking that goes on (I dread hand-shaking thanks to my clamminess). No, really the worst thing about starting a new job is lunch. I never know if I should bring my own lunch, or if it... Continue Reading →

Tomorrow my little brother (in-law) is having twin baby girls. My other little brother Joel is applying to college. My little sister Amber just leveraged her way back into her old job with a pay increase. It's amazing just how "adult" we are becoming. I remember my aunts being so polished and grown-up when I... Continue Reading →

This weekend Steve and I went to a matinee movie. While purchasing the tickets, the cashier said, “ID?” Steve answered with, “no, I don’t have a student ID” (a lot of people mistake us for college kids). “No,” the cashier responded, “your ID – it’s rated ‘R’”. “We’re almost 30,” I said while digging into... Continue Reading →

I turned down a job today. I know you're probably thinking that I am in no position to be turning down jobs after seven weeks of unemployment. It was a job I would've been great at: helping kids right out of college create resumes, teach them how to act in an interview, etc. However, it... Continue Reading →

During my 30-minute pilates video, my mind has plenty of time to wander between doing “the hundred” and “the frog.” As a result, I have created lives for these pilates characters as if I knew them. Ellen, who is the main instructor, was competing for her leading role against the hotter girl with the braids... Continue Reading →

Kraft macaroni and cheese boxes are now childproof. I tried to open the box by prying the sides of the cardboard. After that didn’t work, I stabbed a steak knife violently into that damn cardboard until I made a hole large enough to fit my fat fingers in (which was pretty much the whole top... Continue Reading →