I got a big girl drink at dinner tonight. A blue lemonade with crushed ice (how adult of me). It apparently had a lot of alcohol in it. By the time the main course came, I forgot we were eating dinner. At HyVee, I pointed out a grill that only cost $1.42 per the sign on it for hamburger buns. I went from sober to drunk in 10 minutes flat. Steve said my old drinking buddies would be ashamed of me. He’s right.
Insults would be swirling around me and I would be too tipsy to notice. I would think everyone was talking about wrestling whenever they said, “lightweight.” Those days of taking six shots in a row and then grabbing the microphone at karaoke night are over (but I’m still up for karaoke anytime: drunk or sober – doesn’t matter). Gone is the party girl, replaced with the homebody.
That reminds me of a night of heavy drinking about a year ago: I was keeping up with everyone and their tens of shots. I thought I was, at least. Until the next day when I was told my shots of what I believed to be Captain Morgan were actually just Pepsi. I am an embarrassment to drinkers everywhere. And to think I used to be a pro. Let this be a lesson to everyone: use it or lose it. I’d love to stay and impart more of nuggets of wisdom, but I feel my hangover coming on.