Misinterpretations

At Matt and Emily’s wedding reception two weeks ago, my youngest suitor, 4-year-old Mason, went onto the dance floor, grabbed the microphone and dedicated Owl City’s “Fireflies” to me. But instead of singing, “I’d like to make myself believe” he belts out “bleed” and makes the juvenille ditty sound like a song about suicide.

Here are some of my own misinterpretations that I discovered later:

I still think “Sex and the City” should actually be called “Sex in the City.” I thought that’s what it was until I started seeing the SATC acronym and realized I must have something wrong or I’m really that stupid that I can’t spell a conjunction.

Last time we watched “Houseguest,” I was singing along to “she’s a brick house.” Well, apparently those are the lyrics. I only found that out when Steve started laughing at me belting “she’s a break out.” I still think my way makes more sense.

It’s a “rum & coke”? Because I thought it was a “Roman coke.” Like a centurion came up with the drink and it was named after his descent. I apparently have some real problems with one of the smallest and easiest words in the English language: “and.”

I just found out today that Manfred Mann’s song actually says, “Come all without, come all within/You’ll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn.” I thought it was “the Mighty Wind,” so obviously I have no idea what this song is about.

Now in my defense on this one, Kanye West is hard to understand correctly. But apparently I’ve been doubly wrong when I belt out “Gold digger.” It’s: “My psychic told me she gonna have a ass like Serena,” not “the essence of Rena.” and it’s “if you f***in’ with this girl then you betta’ be paid” not “get laid.”

And can I just say to the Doobie Brothers, what the hell is “China Grove?” I think we all think you were saying, “Charlie, go.” But then again, what am I expecting from a name like “Doobie Brothers”?

Have you ever seen that Friends episode where Pheobe mistakes Elton John’s “Hold me closer, tiny dancer” for: “Hold me close, young Tony Danza”? I thought that was hilarious. Don’t we all love to laugh at other people’s mistakes? Now fess up: what were you always saying incorrectly?