milestone birthday

I have a milestone birthday this week. I am turning 30. This is the first birthday where I feel the age. All the other birthdays came and went without much notice. But this year, I can’t help but notice. This marks a decade of my life that has come and gone. And the best decade, too – the 20’s are over.

I was sulking in my upcoming new age today when I ran into my boss in the hallway. He told me, “if you’re not getting older, you’re dead.” And it made me realize that it isn’t all bad. If I’m not getting older, I’m not developing and learning and changing. And I am doing all those things. Nobody needs to be in the 20’s forever. My days of partying too much and quitting jobs on a whim and focusing only on myself are over.

The 30’s will bring raising our family and growing my career and writing a book. There are great things to come. And great things come in time. I am growing and evolving, not shriveling up and dying. And each of these years that have come and gone have changed and developed me.

I don’t think I could be 23 again if I tried. I fall asleep at 11 pm. I am nearly 30. And that’s not all that bad. People in their 30’s figure their shit out. People in their 30’s are searching for happiness, but not themselves anymore. That was discovered last decade. And I am in that group now. I’m not some ditzy little moron. I am a woman, damn it. And who gives a shit if I have crinkles around my eyes. I know who I am and how I can become better. And now I actually give a shit and will start to work on it.

And thankfully there won’t be another milestone birthday for another decade.