Wandering

Excuse my absence. I’m angry at my computer. It’s taken me awhile to come back and sit here. In the time I was away, my husband cleared this desk off and it is actually quite nice to return. Ahh. The reason I’m mad at my computer is because it is slow and I am impatient. Sure, I’m the one who made it slow with the constant picture uploads and now with my Photoshop application. Steve said he will get us more memory and then I can start editing and posting my photos again. Until then, I will just use my words. Like it’s 2004 all over again.

What was I like in 2004? I have a terrible memory, but (some of) 2004, I can remember. A lot happened. I became an adult. In a way I wouldn’t recommend, mind you.

In 2004, I turned 21. I flew to Nebraska and had my first (legal) drink at Ameristar right after midnight. It was a Grasshopper, I believe. It was terrible. My friend Marie and I had a get-together at Old Chicago in the Old Market that night where she was working at the time. We had some drinks, slurred our words, got McDonald’s, and slept in the next day. So typical.

I was a junior in college. I attended Northwest University in Kirkland, WA and took my language course (Deustch, natürlich) at Bellevue Community College. I started the year living in college apartments. There were four of us in a two bedrom, two bathroom.

After the school year ended, I got an apartment with some of my co-workers. There were three of us there. I thought I had made it because the apartment had crown molding. I bought a couch and oversized chair off a lady who was moving out the day we were moving in. My brother still has it, which makes me smile.

That summer I worked my two restaurant jobs, spent free time in the apartment pool. I rocked a bikini with confidence (never again! I wish I had a picture to relive my glory days). We had after work parties at our apartment. I remember “Wet Hot American Summer” being a very popular movie among my roommate’s friends. I watched it but wasn’t transformed by it or anything. I certainly wasn’t going to dress up like characters from that movie for Halloween like they were.

That summer I bought my first car. It was a black ’98 Saturn SC1. It was a rebuilt car from a very sketchy ring that worked in Federal Way. I didn’t know that when I bought the car, of course. The first day, it ran like a dream. The second day, I noticed some problems. The third day, I coasted into the Saturn dealership in neutral where they gave me a three-page list of problems with the car. I told them to just change the battery for now because that’s all I could afford and it ran great for me for our next seven years together.

That fall I quit my waitressing job at the Keg, which was the first job I ever loved. I’m not sure why, but I assume I thought I suffered a terrible injustice and I would stick it to them by quitting. I was always quitting jobs to right some wrong. And I was replaced quickly and then found myself filling out applications again. So I didn’t really stick it to anyone but myself, of course. I had four jobs in 2004: The Keg, Newport Bay Seafood Cafe, the Original Pancake House (weekend mornings) and Black Angus (how I replaced my Keg job – a terrible downgrade).

That fall I moved out of that party apartment and moved in with some other Keg co-worker who quit or was going to quit or something. I started watching Sex and the City. I made myself Pasta Roni for lunch a lot. I remember liking a younger boy who moved to Lake Tahoe on a whim with everything he owned in his car, and then everything was stolen out of his car. I remember he thought one of the Olsen twins was hot and I was slightly jealous of that, as if I was competing with her or something.

In 2004 I lost my virginity. A month later, I was pregnant. I’ve always gravitated towards the quote, “Not all who wander are lost.” But I know now that I really was lost then. I was wandering for exactly that reason. Thankfully, 2005 came next. 2005 came with some direction. I still wandered, of course, but towards something, rather than away from everything.

Lots of times you don’t know what interests you most till you start talking about something that doesn’t interest you most. 
~ J.D. Salinger (who else?)

Oh, and at the end of 2004, I started my first blog via LiveJournal