this time

Just last night, I tweeted:

I’m going to sell all my corporate clothes to make sure I never consider becoming someone’s lackey ever again.

And then, I shit you not: this morning–not even 12 hours later–a coffee shop customer of mine told me about this job opening at her company that she thought I should apply for. And just like that, I thought about it. 

But then, I dismissed it, shaming myself for even considering it. I have been there, done that and I hated it, I reminded myself. I have little boys at home who I want to spend their final before-school years with. And I have a dream of becoming a writer, or at least a Creative Writing professor. 

It is so easy to get sucked into the vacuum of conformity. Of being a responsible adult with a steady paycheck who looks forward to the weekend, when you can once again pursue your passion. It’s easy to become what people expect of you rather than who you want to become.

But this time, I’m doing it right. 

I am one of the few people who gets a second shot at adulthood. I got my undergraduate degree and did lackey work. I had steady paychecks and did a good job at work I loathed. But now, I am going to get my graduate degree and do what I really want to do.

I am a dreamer. But this time, I will also be a doer. And that “doing” does not include org charts. I am done being sidetracked. This time, I am laser-focused.

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