no special treatments

Let me clear up a misnomer here about my general assholeness. I discovered today my insensitivity to be a result of consistency. You see, I hold everyone to the same standard, regardless of individual circumstances. For example, on American Idol, I didn’t think the blind guy could sing. Regardless of stories and disabilities, I expect the top seven to be the best seven singers that tried out for the show. Period.

Perhaps the reason I excel as a recruiter is because of my standard. Sob stories of being a single mom, or needing a job so badly had no positive effect on my decision. I don’t decide who is a fit for the company based on emotion, but rather on who can perform the job the best. Actually, ever asking for a kleenex at all or showing up in person to a phone interview looks pretty pathetic to me. At an interview, you should be at your best, and if your best is groveling or waving the white flag of a low I.Q., I’m not interested.

It seems that society makes allowances for the gullible rather than treating them like morons. Perhaps that explains why morons never seem to evolve. If you see a car on the road trying to cut in at the last minute, right before a lane ends, you flip that fecking (I picked that up from one of those clever McCourt boys) asshole off, right? But if he has out-of-state plates it’s allowed? Either way, you should flip him off. There is a sign showing merging lanes. Everyone else gets it, you don’t get special treatment for being inept.

I know a woman who has an endless barrage of questions. I hate that over-used saying, “there are no stupid questions,” for there certainly are. This woman asks the most ridiculously brainless questions over and over again. Unfortunately, my polite and patient friends allow and even welcome them. I say, don’t answer her and stare at her blankly until she realizes what a pain in the ass she’s being. If she realized she’s putting people out and she should know the answer herself, perhaps she would shut her yapping mouth. In the meantime, only I have snapped at her (I made it nine days before doing so, so I deserve some sort of medal).

So next time I’m running at Lake Zorinsky and I see some walker who I can tell isn’t a regular (probably wearing jeans) on the left side of the trail: instead of quietly passing on the grass, I will yell, “hey bitch, be courteous: the left is for passing only!” That way, she will never again make the same mistake. Sink or swim: no tiptoeing into the water. I don’t give a shit that seventy other people passed her silently because of her attire. If I don’t tell her, who will? It isn’t fair to the morons to treat them like second-class citizens and allow them to get away with something they shouldn’t. Treat them as our equals so that one day they will be.

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