church today

Protestant church sure has changed a lot since I was a kid. For example:

1. Presentation. Everything is done on Powerpoint. When I was a kid, we were old school and actually brought our Bibles and flipped to page numbers in our hymnals. When we were advancing with the times, we put praise song sheets on the projector with a paper over it so you knew which line we were on.

2. Childcare. When I worked in the nursery and a baby wouldn’t stop crying, I would go and tap the mom on the shoulder and tell her to come help us. Now, every baby is assigned a number which lights up when the parents are needed. It all is reminiscent of waiting for a table at the Olive Garden.

3. Performance. When we sang special music, if you were really getting into the song, you might nod your head or even close both eyes for a couple seconds. Now, worship leaders hop all around the stage with their left hand always in the air (reminds me of “Rookie of the Year”). Today, the worship leader even hopped on top of a box that was used for a skit later in the sermon. I stifled a laugh from escaping audibly. We didn’t buy tickets to the bald guy in the Kramer shirt concert.

4. Dress code. I was worried I would be under dressed today because I am by no means a dress or skirt kind of gal. I wear slacks and a professional shirt as if I’m going to work. I remember for Easter us gals would pick out dresses a month in advance, and often even a hat to go with it. Today, I saw a couple dresses, but I mostly flip flops and capri pants, and (my favorite) tank tops with t-shirts underneath them (because God wants us modest, ladies).

5. Decor. We had a cross. And a couple of fake trees. Today churches seem to be all about banners. Everything is a damn banner, sometimes even with tassels. A banner with two hands, a banner with a dove, a banner with Jesus holding a child’s hand. And on stage some colored lights of course (why not?)

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