greaseball, beautiful people, shopping alone

I have the flattest hair in the world. I look like a perpetual greaseball, even though I shower after every workout (which admittedly have gotten a bit more sporadic lately). Once when I was getting my hair dyed, I asked the hairstylist about how to get some more volume into it and she sold me something that I used once, decided it was just foam, and ended up right back where I began. I am not usually a very jealous person, but I do envy those women with lustrous, full hair; when I see one of them, I look on in awe, subconsciously touching my Kid Rock-esque hair in disappointment.

I’m sure we all have a few things we would change about our appearance, but can you imagine the world where everyone looked like celebrities? It just wouldn’t work. Everyone would feel entitled to something, as beautiful people usually do, and no one would work any of the shitty jobs. The Midwest would clear out, and the entirety of America would exist on the two coasts. Since everyone looked so pretty, ugly would become fashionable. We always want what we don’t have. Once we get it, we want something else.

Although in my case, sometimes I want what I already have. I went shopping last week, and had money to burn, so I felt like I had to buy something. Unfortunately, everything I picked up that I liked was some variation of apparel I already owned. The fashion industry needs to come out with some new ideas, because at this point I’m just buying what I already have in different colors. I saw these pants that I was about to try on before I reminded myself I already owned them, just from a different store. I need to find someone sensible to shop with; someone who makes sure I buy only $10 worth of antibacterial soap from Bath & Body works.

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