overrated assets

Every woman who doesn’t have large boobs wants them. Every woman who does have large boobs wishes they were smaller. I am a part of the latter group. I really don’t see what all the fuss is about w/breasts, anyway. Must they be large? Does that make them better? Because really, either way, they’re just round mounds and I don’t see the big deal.

Mine are a hassle, more than anything. Bra shopping sucks, because all they put on the racks up front are As and Bs and in the back, the ugly, huge, disgusting off white boulder holders.

I don’t wear strapless. Well, I did once to my friend’s wedding when I was a bridesmaid and the whole time was thinking about how I should have straps on. Never again.

I like to run, but my breasts create some injuries. I have open wounds up on my shoulder bone where my sports bra rubs incessantly until I get off the treadmill. Then I take a hot shower and inevitably get some water into my open sore and then I scream profanities.

Women throw away thousands of dollars to enlarge their breasts and meanwhile, I’m considering doing the same but to shrink mine. I guess we’ll always want what we don’t have. But ladies, no one should want cleavage that looks like an ass crack. That’s just whack.

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