I don’t talk about my job much on here out of paranoia that anyone I work with actually cares enough to look me up online. But today’s conversation was just too priceless to pass up.

A little background: I work to keep unemployment costs down for my company. You know, unemployment insurance: something that started out as a good idea but now is given to about 20% people who actually deserve it and about 80% moochers. Not that I’m passionate about it or anything.

Every now and again (OK, it’s every day now) an ex-employee of ours calls and harasses me about why they aren’t getting unemployment. So I explain unemployment is set up for people who are laid off and genuinely looking for work, not them.

My conversation today went a little like this:

Her: “I was getting unemployment, then I went to work for you guys, and you fought my unemployment claim so I never should have gone back to work in the first place. I live in Section 8 Housing and I depend on my unemployment checks to pay my rent!”
Me: “Well if you’re strapped for cash, you could always consider working.”
Her: “That’s not an option, I don’t have daycare.”
Me: “If you’re not able to work, that could be a problem trying to receive unemployment benefits.”
Her: “I just never should have gone back to work in the first place and then I’d still be getting my unemployment checks.”

Now do you see why I’m so cynical about the people trying to collect unemployment? Because I’m in the office eight hours a day making an honest living by making sure other people don’t make a dishonest one. Not that I can single-handedly change the world, but I figure I’ll give it the ol’ college try.

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