To me, NYC is the perfect place to be alone, but not lonely. But I’ve learned to live in reality, rather than the fantasy of books and movies; I’ve learned that renting a tiny one bedroom apartment there is what I pay for the mortgage of my beautiful home here. I’ve learned that there are freaks on subways and cabs get stuck in traffic just like cars. I’ve learned being lonely has nothing to do with how many people surround you.
But something in me always believes things are better elsewhere. It’s the pessimist in me who is always thinking I’d be happier in a different job or a different location. I’m always forgetting that anywhere you go, there you are. If I’m not happy where I am now, what makes a change of scenery any different? Soon enough, there I would also be bored and thinking it’s better somewhere else. But no matter how many times I tell myself that, I inevitably forget it.
I keep forgetting that and remembering the beauty of elsewhere. So I keep my books and movies, and now this snow globe on my desk to remind me of the beautiful when I forget it’s all around me.
Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson