Winter coat

Winter has been long, and I have worn it like a heavy coat. I have been only a sliver of my normal self – mostly covered in winter’s gray. I have been exhausted and tired and grouchy and run down. I haven’t been doing the things I love. I haven’t been taking baths or doing puzzles, running or walking, reading or writing. I have been sleeping and sick and irritable and dull. I haven’t been proud or accomplished anything. Life has continued but I have been lifeless.

But winter is leaving and I am shedding my heavy coat. I have resuscitated my old self. I am running or walking again. I’m writing and reading. I’m working less hours and with more purpose. My bathtub was occupied once more. And once I clean Brandon’s shit off my puzzle table, I will be there, too. I have goals to accomplish and ideas to express.

I feel lighter already, dropping that despair. Tiny blooms are sprouting on this hardened brown twig.

Spring won’t let me stay in this house any longer! I must get out and breathe the air deeply again. 
~Gustav Mahler

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