If you have been reading my blog for a few years, you might remember me bragging about still not acting like a Midwesterner in this November 2010 post. Three and a half more years have passed, and let me tell you, the Midwest is a part of me now. I don’t know if anyone will ever recognize me as being from a coast at this point. I have gone full out Nebraska. Here’s what’s changed from my list:
1. I still haven’t worn tennis shoes with jeans
Correction: I am wearing Chuck Taylors with jeans right now.
2. I’ve managed to remain under 180 lbs
Correction: Just three weeks ago I tipped the scale at 203 lbs.
11. I still can’t cook
No correction needed here, I can’t cook – but I am attempting now that I stay at home.
12. I’ve never ordered from Omaha Steaks
Correction: I have, but it was for work, so I don’t know if it counts.
13. My outdoor grill is tiny
Correction: we got a new grill and it is Midwest large. I have not used it, though.
14. I don’t have a quilt on my bed
Correction: I don’t, but I bought one for my son. I think they are so quaint and homey.
15. All my silverware matches
Correction: I have not one, not two, but three different partial sets of silverware in my top kitchen drawer.
17. My hair is not brown
Correction: it is not now, but it was last year for a short stint. It’s just easier than constantly highlighting this shit. Midwesterners recognize and gravitate towards convenience and ease.
So out of 20, I have rescinded 8 of my earlier statements. That makes me 40% Nebraska and 60% West coast, right?
Sure, if you only take into account this list and don’t include what didn’t make it on the original list – like I love going to Cracker Barrel and haven’t worn heels in a long time and will go days in a row now without putting on makeup and I never even think to call the interstate the freeway anymore.
I might be full out Nebraskan now. Someone go buy me a Huskers shirt. Why even fight it at this point?