garage sale

I spent the majority of last week on our garage sale. These things are all-consuming, I tell you what. But it paid off – somehow, from just getting rid of the junk our house had accumulated, we made $500. And we’re very pleased with the extra space in our basement and garage. Now I just need to donate what’s left over so I can pull my car back into the garage.

For two days, I had an opportunity to people watch a bunch of strangers from the comfort of my own home. There were some real doozies, I tell you what.

A man who was mowing the lawn for the people who live a couple houses down came over. When he saw some snow boots I had, he said, “oh, you’re single,” (I don’t wear my wedding ring very often) “I’ve been looking for a single girl that likes the outdoors, but it’s hard to find one who has all her teeth.” I quickly corrected him and told him that I am not in fact single and good luck to him. Even if I was single, there would have been absolutely zero interest on my part. Guys trolling garage sales for women? That’s a new one to me.

There was a woman in her mid-thirties with a friend. I am quite positive this woman was high on something (meth I assume, but I could be wrong). She was so obnoxious – everything I was selling she had to comment on. When she saw my books, she said, “I love books. They’re like my religion. I never finish them, but I open one up and read a little bit and figure that is supposed to be my lesson for the day.” Then she proceeded to try to read the book jackets outloud, but couldn’t pronounce most of the words. “I’m pretty smart, smarter than most people, but this is advanced even for me,” she said. Then she saw the CDs. “Doesn’t she look like Duffy?” She asked me, referring to her friend with the blackened eyes and wrinkly skin around her mouth. She held the CD cover up to her friend’s face to convince me. Her friend didn’t look like Duffy at all. She looked like a common Iowa meth addict.

Today I am happy to be back to my old routine – sleeping in, eating breakfast leisurely with Brandon while he watches a TV show, playing with toys for hours. I’ll get up the gumption to do a garage sale again, but not for another two years.

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