ho hum

This cleanse is getting a bit drab. The novelty has worn off and it’s feeling almost like an old habit. Which really is the whole point – to change my eating habits. But it’s not fresh and exciting anymore. It’s like the third year of marriage before babies – “yeah, we’ve done this. What’s next?”

And everything tastes like corn.

I will say, I’ve noticed it gets easier, as really all things do when you stick with them. Last week was so tough for me not to pull into a drive-thru: it was a real battle of wills. But today I was driving around, during lunchtime no less, when I was hungry, and I just drove home to make a salad. It wasn’t even a thought (OK, it was a thought, but I remembered my third year of this cleanse marriage).

I’m looking forward to the end – when I can eat my sugar and drink my caffeine and carbo load again, like the good ol’ days. But I will not end this thing before it ends, because then I don’t know that I will be any different. I keep reminding myself no one can get out of rehab in 10 days and this detox is like my rehab – my chance to quit bad habits and start again with habits that are good.

I have to give it time to change me. I have to linger where I am for a bit, where I need to be. 

I’m sure I will start my post-cleanse life by making amends with gluten. I’m sorry I ever left you. It was a mistake. I love you and I’ve missed you and I never want to leave you again.

Maybe it’s not an “I love eggs” shirt I need, after all. I know now: gluten, it was always you.

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