missing piece

On the season 2 finale of Mad Men, Peggy tells Pete that she had his baby and gave it away. He doesn’t understand so she explains:

“Well one day you’re there. And then, all of a sudden, there’s less of you. And you wonder where that part went: if it’s living somewhere outside of you. And you keep thinking maybe you’ll get it back. And then you realize it’s just gone.”

I shopped for Gracie’s birthday present tonight. She is turning five. I tried to think of things she would like, but it’s hard when I don’t know her the way a mother should. I settled on some art supplies because she wants to be an artist.

I hope she doesn’t hate me for it: for not knowing her the way a mother should.

I hope she always know she has a piece of me. She is the piece living outside of me.

One thought on “missing piece

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  1. You gave her a beautiful life.
    She won't hate you.
    It must be very hard for you.
    You had to learn very early on that our children are not really OURS anyway, are they?

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