that parent

 Before becoming a parent, I vowed to not become one of those parents who only talks about her kid. Seriously, as a non-parent, it’s annoying. Parents might find the fact that their kid pooped interesting, but non-parents don’t. Nor did I care to hear what “cute thing” the kid said or what drawer she got into or how close she came to the stairs before you caught her. Don’t. Care.  I would be different: I would still be myself, just with a child attached to me, as if he is an accessory you bring along with you into your non-parent life. Little did I know that he is a life-changer.

She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along. ~Margaret Culkin Banning

My life revolves around Brandon. He is completely dependent on me for everything he needs, so I must always be at his beck and call. He is not an accessory you grab on your way out the door. In fact, I’m not going out the door at all unless a tornado is headed right at me or something equally important for me to even consider it. Hefting this kid around with his diaper bag and risking him screaming in public non-stop is enough to coop up even me. I miss Scooters coffee. I miss fresh air. I have major cabin fever.

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

These past five weeks, Brandon has dominated my conversations, my blog posts, my thoughts. I have noticed in five weeks I have quickly become that parent. I don’t think there’s any other type. I don’t think you can become a parent without changing from who you were. Because you have a new role to add to your old ones. And this isn’t like your job where you’re just doing it forty hours a week. Being a parent is constant. I am changed forever. I’m not saying I won’t go out for drinks ever again or tell dirty jokes or swear excessively. I will still do all those things. As soon as I can get a babysitter. Just know, that if you’re meeting me for drinks, I will talk about my kid. And you will hate it. You won’t care at all. But someday, when you’re a parent, you’ll get it.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh