Last night I looked at Brandon – at his curious, roaming body. I watched him wriggle and crawl and laugh. He has grown up so fast. Last year he was still in my belly and now he can kind of talk and almost walk. Everything all the other parents have said for years is right – they grow up so fast. He will never be small enough to nuzzle in my arms again. He’s a strapping young boy.
And as every working mom does, I felt guilty for the hours I’ve missed of his development. I feel terrible when he is the last in his room at daycare when I come to pick him up. When I work on a Sunday, Steve will send me a picture of Brandon and I feel awful, not being there. So it’s time I prioritize my work/life balance.
I’ve always worked a lot. I had two jobs in college and up until I got married. Even after we were married, I tried the two jobs thing again. When I have one job, I focus all my energy into it. I come in early, work late, skip lunch breaks, and work the weekend. I take an enormous responsibility for everything I do at work. I have good work ethic and am a hard worker. And before, that was no problem.
But now, it’s not just me and Steve. There’s Brandon to think about. So it’s time to change my mindset. Work is important because it allows my family to live in this house. It allows us to eat out and buy clothes and toys. But it’s not more important than my family. So this year, I will work on work/life balance. My family comes first, my job comes second. There aren’t any more days or hours or minutes to waste. Brandon is growing up too fast.