If you have ever read a popular parenting blog (like this one), you know that the comments are filled with parents ripping each other apart for being too neglectful or too smothering. Everyone is telling each other how to parent – everyone thinking their idea is the way for all children to be raised by all parents. There are countless books and philosophies and workshops to teach people how to parent correctly. I think it’s ridiculous.
I think if you are a parent, you should be doing what you feel is best for your child. You are teaching them based on the way you feel they will learn the best. You are punishing them how you feel is most effective. Just because another mom does it another way doesn’t mean you’re right and she’s wrong or vice versa. When did parenting become a “you’re doing it wrong” instead of a cooperative “hang in there” nod to each other at the park? Why are people treating this like political parties of the attached or detached parenting styles?
I think we all form our own parenting style based on what we’ve learned in life ourselves – we will mix what we did like from our own childhoods with what we wish we had had. We will incorporate some of what we’ve seen from other parents that we respect. Some parents will be loose with rules and end up being their children’s best friends. Some parents will run their household in strict order like an army general. Who are we to say that someone else sucks at parenting? None of us are doing it right all the time. Parenting is constantly evolving along with us and our children. We will learn what does and doesn’t work for our own children and for us.
Our children will all turn out to be different people with different ideals. I sincerely hope all of us that have been blessed with the title of a parent are giving it our best shot. If we all just thought about what type of adults we want our children to grow into and then raised them based on how we think we can best instill those values in them, I think we would all be doing a pretty damn good job. Enough shit-talking each other already! The greatest compliment I could receive is that I’m a good parent, just as the biggest insult is calling someone a bad one. Quit bashing each other already and concentrate on your kids instead.