driving miss daisy

 

 I used to think those drivers you get behind who are going 20 mph under the speed limit were all high. I thought they all smoked a bong full of weed and were super-paranoid so they were driving like blue hairs. But yesterday I realized that some of them aren’t high, they’re first-time mothers. I was driving to Scooters with Brandon in his seat in the back, watching the rear view mirror like a hawk to make sure his head didn’t roll. Then a honk returned me to the road and I looked to see the honker – a powder blue Cadillac. Nothing says “senior citizen” like a powder blue Cadillac.

I made them miss the green light while I barely made it. Then, two lights later, I realize some vehicle is riding my ass. That vehicle happens to be a semi. A truck carrying up to 80,000 lbs that can barely make a turn thinks I’m going too slow. So maybe I am a little overly-cautious. But I’ve got precious cargo on board, damn it! All of a sudden, the day you have a baby, nothing else matters but him. Sorry, the rest of the world. I don’t give a damn about you anymore.